yes, this is also from a couple years ago. it was actually for art class. i was going to make a book and do little illustrations to go with it. alas, the book never was made.
-A-
Albert Alligator ate the agile antelope then awkwardly ambled across the antlers to allow the ambulance to access the Alps.
-B-
Betty Beaver bet Benjamin Bear she could balance a billion buffaloes on one bunch of bananas.
-C-
Clever Count Calvin the camel can't count, and continuously carries cardboard cutouts in his carrot-colored car.
-D-
Darling Danny Don danced dangerously down the stairs while delicately deciding which duck-shaped donut he would deliberately digest.
-E-
Eleven elvish elephants emptied the electric elevator on their way to elementary school to examine encyclopedias, echoes, ears, elk, engines, and equivalent equations.
-F-
Flexible flamingos favor flawless feathers for flying in the forest and for following fast, furry families of ferocious ferrets.
-G-
Grandma Gracie got Gus the garbage guy great gallons of grape glue from Guatemala.
-H-
Horace the happy hippo hoped for healthy hamburgers with hilarious hands and hairy hats.
-I-
Invisible, itchy ivy irritates Isabella's imaginary iguana, Indigo.
-J-
Jazzy Josephine jokingly juggled a jumble of juicy jams and jellys on a jolly jumping jaguar.
-K-
Kevin the kind kangaroo kicked a keg of ketchup while kissing his kazoo made of kelp.
-L-
Larry the leather lampshade left la-la-land in a large luxurious limousine to live with the llamas in lettuce lane.
-M-
Mandy the mop met Marty the mangled map while mopping the messy floor.
-N-
Newts from Neptune should never nibble nervously on new nightcaps worn by nasty nocturnal nutrias.
-O-
Ocelots in outer space occupy obviously orange octagons and often order optical operations on old omelets.
-P-
Purple packages of perfectly patterned parachutes present their plaid passports in Paris.
-Q-
Quenchable quarts of quarters questioned a quartet of quick quacking quails.
-R-
Radioactive railroads run over ravioli at a rapid rate while reaping the rewards of ruining the rebellion of the redhead rabbits.
-S-
Slimy salamanders slop salami on sarcastic sauerkraut in the salty sewers of sunny San Diego.
-T-
The translucent tadpole tribe of the tablecloth tell tall-tales tirelessly of the time they took a tiger with a toothache to town.
-U-
The unheard-of, ultra-microscopic, and ungulate unicorns uniformly usurped unprotected, but useful, umbrellas from Ukraine.
-V-
Vibrating vegetables have very high voltage and live in vivid valleys of valuable violets.
-W-
Willy's waffle wagon waded warily through white whipped cream without waking the wrath of the whales.
-X-
Xavier the xylophone expert spoke Xhosa and went to Xuzhou to get an x-ray.
-Y-
Yellow, youthful yo-yos eat yummy yams over yonder by the yard of yawning yarn.
-Z-
Zany but zealous zombie zucchinis zap the zippy zebras of Zimbabwe.
Monday, August 25, 2008
amusing
so i was going through some of my things, trying to get stuff together for packing and whatnot, when i found a notebook from 2005/2006. in it, there are a few stories i wrote for writing class, and they're somewhat amusing. at least to me they are.. anywho, i thought i'd share them with you. :)
...
the first one didn't have a title, so i named it "Little Red Ice Cream".
I was just about to sit down to a nice big scrumptious bowl of ice cream when suddenly I found myself outside in some sort of wooded area without any ice cream at all. Instead of a bowl in my hands, I held a small basket. I would have much rather had my bowl of ice cream, but a basket full of goodies wasn't half bad.
I started walking forward, not really knowing where I was headed. That's when I noticed that I was wearing something completely different than I had been wearing back at home with my ice cream. First of all, I was wearing a dress. And Second of all (which perhaps I should've mentioned first), I was wearing a little ridiculous cape-type thing with a hood. It was red.
"Great," I thought, "I'm Little Red Riding Hood."
Just then, a great big wolf came right up to me and asked me where I was going.
I was about to tell him that I had no idea where I was going when I glanced down at the basket in my hand.
"But I can't tell him that," I thought. "Because then he'll somehow get me to pick flowers and then run ahead and eat my grandmother and put on her clothes. Then when I get there we'll go through the whole oh-what-big-ears-you have...etc thing. Then he'll end up eating me, too. But if I don't tell him something now, he'll just gobble me up on the spot. Hmm..."
"Well, you see," I said out loud, "I was just on my way to, uh, ya know, that one place. The place where you get ice cream."
"Ice cream?" the wolf said. "What is this ice cream you speak of? I've never heard of it before."
"Well, it's a frozen dessert that's really quite tasty. And it comes in different flavors, too."
"Wow! really? That sounds good! Where is this place?"
I pointed off to the left, the direction i was headed. "That way. You keep walking until you get out of these woods. Then you go for another half-hour or so until you come to a little stream. The ice cream place should be there, right on the other side of the water."
The wolf didn't even say goodbye. he just took off in the direction I had pointed. "Boy, he must've been hungry or something," I thought to myself.
I woke up. Half of my face was covered with melted ice cream. Then I thought, "this must be one of those times when you wish your tongue was longer than it is so you could reach all the way up to your forhead to lick all that perfectly good ice cream off your face."
...
the next one is a Dramatic Freewrite i had to, erm, write:
Freewrite...Dramatic freewrite...what's the difference? And if it has to be dramatic, then it isn't really a true freewrite. If you're restricted to writing a dramatic story, you don't have the freedom to write something non-dramatic. But anyway, enough of that. Let's get on with the story, which just happens to be dramatic. I hope.
I was walking down the street one day when I saw a school bus. And everybody knows that school buses are actually police cars coming to take the children that skip school away to the dungeon of 7 million tortures, otherwise known as detention.
So I called up the guy who was in charge of disposing of such monsters. He assured me that the school bus would be taken care of. I continued on with my walk down the street.
...
Next is a little story dialog--Two Men Plus a Cab
One day, two men got into the same cab, both unaware of the other's presence until they both tried to tell the driver where they were going.
"To the airport."
"The Marriot Hotel on 25th street. Hey! This is my cab! Get your own!"
"You get your own!" said the first man. "Wait a minute, I remember you. You're that jerk who stole my car, and that's the whole reason I had to get a cab in the first place!"
At this moment, the cab driver spoke up.
"Could you take this argument somewhere else? Please?" They didn't hear him.
"What are you talking about? I didn't steal your car! You're just trying to make me feel guilty so I'll get out and you can have the cab."
(it kinda doesn't have an ending, but you can make one up if you'd like)
...
next is my rendition of Hansel and Gretel:
There once was an old lady who lived in a gingerbread house in the woods. Since we don't know her name, we will call her Mrs.Toscanini. Now Mrs. Toscanini had been living in this house for quite some time. That's why all the walls and frosting were so crusty and starting to crack. She felt like it was all about to crumble to the ground.
...
the first one didn't have a title, so i named it "Little Red Ice Cream".
I was just about to sit down to a nice big scrumptious bowl of ice cream when suddenly I found myself outside in some sort of wooded area without any ice cream at all. Instead of a bowl in my hands, I held a small basket. I would have much rather had my bowl of ice cream, but a basket full of goodies wasn't half bad.
I started walking forward, not really knowing where I was headed. That's when I noticed that I was wearing something completely different than I had been wearing back at home with my ice cream. First of all, I was wearing a dress. And Second of all (which perhaps I should've mentioned first), I was wearing a little ridiculous cape-type thing with a hood. It was red.
"Great," I thought, "I'm Little Red Riding Hood."
Just then, a great big wolf came right up to me and asked me where I was going.
I was about to tell him that I had no idea where I was going when I glanced down at the basket in my hand.
"But I can't tell him that," I thought. "Because then he'll somehow get me to pick flowers and then run ahead and eat my grandmother and put on her clothes. Then when I get there we'll go through the whole oh-what-big-ears-you have...etc thing. Then he'll end up eating me, too. But if I don't tell him something now, he'll just gobble me up on the spot. Hmm..."
"Well, you see," I said out loud, "I was just on my way to, uh, ya know, that one place. The place where you get ice cream."
"Ice cream?" the wolf said. "What is this ice cream you speak of? I've never heard of it before."
"Well, it's a frozen dessert that's really quite tasty. And it comes in different flavors, too."
"Wow! really? That sounds good! Where is this place?"
I pointed off to the left, the direction i was headed. "That way. You keep walking until you get out of these woods. Then you go for another half-hour or so until you come to a little stream. The ice cream place should be there, right on the other side of the water."
The wolf didn't even say goodbye. he just took off in the direction I had pointed. "Boy, he must've been hungry or something," I thought to myself.
I woke up. Half of my face was covered with melted ice cream. Then I thought, "this must be one of those times when you wish your tongue was longer than it is so you could reach all the way up to your forhead to lick all that perfectly good ice cream off your face."
...
the next one is a Dramatic Freewrite i had to, erm, write:
Freewrite...Dramatic freewrite...what's the difference? And if it has to be dramatic, then it isn't really a true freewrite. If you're restricted to writing a dramatic story, you don't have the freedom to write something non-dramatic. But anyway, enough of that. Let's get on with the story, which just happens to be dramatic. I hope.
I was walking down the street one day when I saw a school bus. And everybody knows that school buses are actually police cars coming to take the children that skip school away to the dungeon of 7 million tortures, otherwise known as detention.
So I called up the guy who was in charge of disposing of such monsters. He assured me that the school bus would be taken care of. I continued on with my walk down the street.
...
Next is a little story dialog--Two Men Plus a Cab
One day, two men got into the same cab, both unaware of the other's presence until they both tried to tell the driver where they were going.
"To the airport."
"The Marriot Hotel on 25th street. Hey! This is my cab! Get your own!"
"You get your own!" said the first man. "Wait a minute, I remember you. You're that jerk who stole my car, and that's the whole reason I had to get a cab in the first place!"
At this moment, the cab driver spoke up.
"Could you take this argument somewhere else? Please?" They didn't hear him.
"What are you talking about? I didn't steal your car! You're just trying to make me feel guilty so I'll get out and you can have the cab."
(it kinda doesn't have an ending, but you can make one up if you'd like)
...
next is my rendition of Hansel and Gretel:
There once was an old lady who lived in a gingerbread house in the woods. Since we don't know her name, we will call her Mrs.Toscanini. Now Mrs. Toscanini had been living in this house for quite some time. That's why all the walls and frosting were so crusty and starting to crack. She felt like it was all about to crumble to the ground.
One day, as Mrs. Toscanini was knitting a sweater for her cat, her only companion since her husband had died, she heard the sound of kids' voices outside. She leaned forward, trying to hear better.
"Look, Hansel," she heard a girl say. "Candy on a house!"
"It looks so good, Gretel," a boy said. "I want to eat it."
At that point, Mrs.Toscanini had heard enough. She set down her knitting needles and stood up. Over to the door she went, as fast as her little old legs could go. When she got outside, the kids had already eaten part of her home.
"What are you two doing here?" she barked, hands on her hips. She continued, not even waiting for an answer, "Stop eating my house! Why don't you come in and I'll give you some real food?"
The children stepped hesitantly into Mrs. Toscanini's house. They thought that she was a nasty old witch. They assumed this for several reasons. First of all, she was wearing a loose fitting black dress that made it look like a robe. Then there was her wrinkly face and she had yelled at them. And once they were inside, they saw that she owned a cat. All of these can be explained, of course. The black dress was because she was still mourning the loss of her dear husband. She had wrinkles because she was old and she had yelled at them because they were eating her house. Her cat, which just happened to be black, was there so she wouldn't be so lonely. So, in fact she wasn't really a witch, but a nice old lady who had been living all by herself for many years.
Mrs. Toscanini wanted to teach the kids a lesson, so she made them work for her. But then she felt sorry for the poor kids, so she gave them extra sweets to eat. The children swept the floor, dusted everything, beat the rugs, and various other chores. Every night before they went to bed she gave them candy to eat. The kids, inaccurately, thought that she was trying to fatten them up so she could make them into stew and eat them for dinner. That's why they tried to escape.
"You can't run away," she said to Hansel when she saw him trying to escape. She locked him up in a cage so he wouldn't try it again. She didn't want him to starve though, so she gave him even more sweets. Because he wasn't doing any work, he couldn't' burn off all that extra fat, so it stuck to him. Gretel didn't get caught, so she spent her time looking for the keys to unlock the cage. She did this while dusting so Mrs. Toscanini wouldn't get suspicious.
One day, as she was doing this, Mrs. Toscanini called her over to the oven.
"Stick your head in to see if it is hot enough," she commanded.
Gretel started to lean forward, but said, "Why don't you? It might burn off all my hair or even my face."
Mrs. Toscanini didn't want that to happen to the little girl, so she said, "Oh alright. I suppose I could do that for you." She stuck her head in and just as she was about to pull it back out, Gretel pushed her all the way in. Mrs. Toscanini's dress caught on fire and burned.
Gretel found the keys, which were in Mrs. Toscanini's burning dress, and freed her brother. They ran away from the house and out of the forest. Never did they come back to the gingerbread house again
As for Mrs. Toscanini, she was able to put out the fire with a bucket of water. From that time on, she decided that she never wanted to see another kid in her life.
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